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Dishoom Presents…. Hamoon Jadugar Fanclub!

April 12, 2010

Now, if you grew up in Pakistan in the 1990s, there is no way you wouldn’t know what Ainak Wala Jin (Bespectacled Genie) is. If you don’t know what it is, then go back to your elitist Johnny Quest and its fancy computer graphics (Just a word of warning: you are on the wrong side of the Zaid Hamid revolution that’s imminent! Bach ke rehna babu!). For the rest of us, it was a whimsical world.

Ainak Wala Jinn

I don’t what it was, but the show captivated us (atleast in the first 13-20 episodes). The story of Ainak Wala Jin was mainly supposed to be about a genie called Nastoor Jin, who is evicted from Caucasus for being ineffective (because he had  bad eyesight and there were no vision correction centres in the land of the jinns). The story revolves around Nastoor Jinn and the family he is staying with, when he is on earth. There are a lot of incidents/stoylines regarding different creatures including: JinnsJadugars (magicians/wizards, who had an animosity towards the Jinns), Churails (Witches, which for some odd reason were colluding with the magicians), Humanoid Extra-terrestrial beings (who wanted to take over the earth), and of course the Crime Underground (who at one point were working with the Alien beings to kidnap one of the kids from the family with whom Nastoor was living with).

The show was basically a mixture of different fantasy worlds, children are exposed to in Pakistan:  from things that existed in our childhood stories (i.e. Caucasus is a bit Genie ghetto!), to different influences from other sources like kids taking up the bad guys (a concept which still feels very foreign to me). The program itself was very preachy, as most kids programs are. The funny thing is, religion was still somehow incorporated in the show, especially in a middle of a extra-terrestrial invasion (of course the aliens also believed in God, from what I gathered). Full marks!

Looking back, the show is totally crap! But then, it was aimed at kids of the 1990s, and perhaps it is out of date now. The family itself was VERY annoying, with a self-righteous 8-9 year old boy, and idiotic 5 year old girl, and airhead-of-a- mother, and totally non-serious (and with awful facial hair) father. Nastoor, himself, was a bit annoying. In fact there was only a few things which were amusing, which included Mr. Y, of Mr. X and Mr. Y)

Mr. Y: "Yess Boss!!"

And Fariha Parvez as the alien (some say she never came out of that character)

"Are You Like Checking Me Out?"

And ma’am Bill Batori

……………….. And No, Zakota Jinn was annoying as well! So he doesn’t count as well!

However, the only saving grace of this program was Nastoor’s nemesis, Mr. Hamoon Jadugar (magician/wizard).

Oh, how can we forget this “chant” when he used to make his calls.

Ullu, Ullu, Hello!

Ullu, Ullu, Hello!

Assee Char so bees, Assee Do So Gyara

Tusee Char so Bees, Tusee Do So Gyara

Now, Ullu translates to “owl”, which is a very funny animal in South Asian/Pakistani stories, which is generally considered idiotic. Assee Char so bees, Assee do so gyara is “80 420 80 211”, while “Tusee Char so Bees, Tusee Do so gyara” would mean something completely different. “Assee” not only means 80 in Urdu/Punjabi, it also means “Us” or “We” in Punjabi. “Tusee” is a related Punjabi word, which means “You”. Now the last line means “You are 420, You are 211”, which the readers would recognize as the two articles off Pakistan Penal Code which relate to fraud.  Uff! I loved that seamless integration of cultural references. Loved it!

Also there was, from what I can remember

Bill Batori, Naasaan Chori

Adhi Phikee, Adhi Koree

I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry

Tu Churail Nahin Dain Ae, Meray Pyaari Behn Hay

Shooniyaan, Shaaaniyaan, Paaniyaaan

I won’t even try to translate that!!

No wonder, (Ullu ki naak wala) Hamoon Jadugar became the star of the show for a lot of people. Hamoon Jadugar, with his trusty companion Bill Batori, was on a mission to capture any Jinn and present it to the king of wizards, Samuri Jadugar. If he did that, he will be part of the kings’ close associates all over again, from where he was thrown out 3,500 years ago. Hamoon Jadugar was evicted from the court for stealing pencils, rubbers, sharpeners, and above all, lunchboxes from the children of the wizards. Now, he has taken it on himself to capture Nastoor and take him to his Wizard King because Nastoor doesn’t enjoy the same immunity as he would have enjoyed in the Caucausus.

Now, in order to commemorate this one helluva character, I thought we need a Flanclub. Hence, Dishoom presents…..Hamoon Jadugar Fanclub. We shall have conventions, dress up as Hamoon, and create fan fiction!!

Here’s a collection of some really bad quality video of Hamoon that I have compiled, to demonstrate the genius that he was!

Hamoon Jadugar: Videocalling

Hamoon Jadugar had a unique way to videocall using the Wizarding network!

Aaja Aaja Come on, Come on, COME ON!!

Hamoon Jadugar: “Damagh Larana”

Now “Damagh Larana” roughly translates to “Thinking Hard”, however, it can also be literally translated to “Fighting with one’s brain”. What does Hamoon do? He rubs his head against a plastic model of a brain, which seems totally bogus! Genius!

Let me tell you this! THIS FRACKING WORKS! Pakora Sisters!!! Rise and corroborate! Mindquest 06! Booyeah!

Hamoon Jadugar in disguise

The best bits also came when Hamoon took on different disguises. Here he is interacting with Nastoor Jinn.

Brilliant! In the next scene, Hamoon transforms “Uncle Charlie” into a goat! That is awesome for  a 8 yo!

Here are some other clips of Hamoon Jadugar! Hamoon Jadugar Fanclub asks for more contribution to the visual delight that was Hamoon Jadugar!

Hamoon Jadugar in conversation with Bill Batori

Hamoon Jadugar being angry, Bill Batori, Videocalling, and the monkey!

Hamoon Jadugar, “Damagh Larana” and going in diguise!

Hamoon Jadugar and “Ammi Jee!!!”

Also, this scene of Nastoor and Umru Ayyar is brilliant (the best line comes at 1:36, “Bhai mujhay Bhalu say insaan banadain, bari mehrbaani hogee!”)

Enjoy! Brethren!

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15 Comments leave one →
  1. April 13, 2010 4:32 am

    So Kohkaaf = Caucuses? But, umm, Caucuses is region near Caspian Sea. I don’t get.

    No doubt, dimagh larana is a tried and tested technique of geniuses. You and me and the third wheel primarily.

    And excuse me, Johnny Quest graphics were cool, OKAY!!

  2. April 13, 2010 5:14 am

    You know what, come to think of it, I’m not sure about the Koh-e-Kaaf thing. I always assumed so, for some odd reason, because the PTV Khabarnama woman used to say so during the Chechnya War! Shall look it up…

    And.. Johnny Quest was cool, i admit (that poor Hadji), but i meant if one doesn’t know what Ainak wala jin is then one is an elitist thug… That doesn’t sound right… beh

  3. Waqas permalink
    April 13, 2010 8:04 am

    “the visual delight that was Hamun Jadugar”. :p Seriously?
    This is too well researched. I’m a little scared of you.

  4. vics permalink
    April 13, 2010 8:50 am

    The Koh-kaaf of myth are actually supposed to be located somewhere in the Caucusas mountain range and the persian name for the region, kafkaaz, actually sounds a lot similar to good ol’ koh-kaaf! These mountains figured in Greek mythology as well and if I’m not wrong, a mountain in this range, Mount Elbrus, appears in the stories of Rustum and Sohraab! As for the post and Hamoon Jadugar: Just awesome! 🙂

  5. April 13, 2010 3:30 pm

    @Waqas: Well, as you would know, it could have been far worse (or far better researched), and on a weirder topic. And there are no gay-vibes between me and Hamoon.. he’s just too old for me, if you were hinting that..

    @Vics: Thanks man! 🙂 and woah! and that is called knowing your stuff! And I wasted my childhood on TV. Alas!

  6. Ammar permalink
    April 13, 2010 3:59 pm

    assumed third wheel testifies dimagh larana works (except in repeated case of hamoon), have had no success in life since abandoning technique.

    also feel need to point out that the golden age of ainak wala jin preceded the computer graphics wala johnny quest by 2 or 3 years. so it was possible for us all to be captivated by hamoon as feeble minded 8 year olds and later watch graphics wala jonny quest as still feeble minded 10 yr olds.

  7. April 14, 2010 12:11 pm

    a friend of mine had been clamoring for ages that someone should make a film remake of “Ainak Wala Jin”

    if that project ever sees light of day, it is essential for you to be on that team – whatta brilliant recapturing of this glorious PTV past!

    i agree with Ammar though, in the sense that AWJ began when alternative channels were as widespread as Porches are in contemporary Pakistan. This was an age when afternoon/evening programming was dominated by that Quran show, followed by Hadiqa singing Na’ats with kids.

    and full marks to vics for the referencing.

  8. April 14, 2010 8:25 pm

    Ah! Chalo Johny Quest is halal now. Don’t worry, Zaid Hamid will not harm you now!

    @AmmarZ: if there was no damaagh, Hamoon wouldn’t realise what disguise he needs to take up. And yes, you are the assumed third wheel if you can answer the following question: Whats the best thing about Gilgit?

    @Karachikhatmal: A AWJ movie! Fascinating! I will be honoured to be a part of that great endeavour! I’m already thinking of plot lines. Perhaps I/we should get a story wriiten! (*with item numbers ofcourse). And, I don’t know if Hadiqa sang Na’ats but she definitely did this show with Amjad bobby called “Angan Angan Taaray”… and why would I know about it? Because if one goes back to October/November/Dec 1991 broadcast of the show, you just might spot me, in a red shirt and matching shorts!

    and *standing ovation for vics*

  9. Ammar permalink
    April 16, 2010 3:15 am

    can’t recall ‘aangan aangan taaray’ at all (you find any clips?), earliest memory of hadiqa being vj. do remember adnan sami as being ptv’s resident children’s musician round that time though. even in those welter-weight days he was referred to as the ‘sureela reechh’ in my household.

  10. April 17, 2010 6:50 am

    I remember that! and we used to have a lot of interruptions (Intizaar Farmaiyyay), and there was a joke between us “keh loh aik aur stool tor diya hay”.. Behta Darya, i believe that show was called

    As for Hadiqa, all I could find was this *the horror*

  11. August 17, 2010 10:09 am

    a little correction. i think the phone number was assi char sau bees assi nau do gyayarah (80 9211).

  12. Mohsin permalink
    September 24, 2011 10:32 am

    Wasn’t it “bill batori naasaan chaurri addhi mitthi addhi kaurri”? I remember Samuri used to add the line “I am sorry, I am sorry” at the end.

    And there wasy “main bhooton kee naani, naam mera karnaani”

    • September 27, 2011 7:28 pm

      Just might adhi meethi, adhi kauree, but same difference! and Yes, I remember, “Im sorry, Im sorry”. Man, I think there should be a whole movie around Hamoon Jadugar! He was EPIC!

  13. August 29, 2012 8:37 am

    Does anyone think that PTV should make a remake or re-envision the whole thing for a newer, modern audience of youngsters? I suggest just that in my blog.

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